Wednesday, January 20, 2010

it still hurts so much. =,( .... (my thoughts after finishing Maou...again)


hi all~

(~_~ especially to the girls who have been leaving
lots of comments for me these days! *waves* *hugs*
i'm always happy to read yr msgs and it really makes me feel loved...♥
arigatou ne~! )


ano...so i finished watching Maou again a few days ago. it still hurts so much!! =,( but i'm really glad i could re-watch this drama...i haven't really rewatched any of his dramas before...not even hana kimi (though i did rewatch some episodes with neechan and my mom, and i also watched a lot of my fav scenes on the dvd...).

I THINK by now, everyone has watched Maou, but if you haven't, *MAJOR SPOILERS* coming up!!!!

and if you wanna know how i'm feeling right now, just watch this Maou FV, My World....watching this MV always brings back all those strong emotions i felt while watching the drama!! (but....who was holding whose hand in that scene at 2.36 in the MV?? can someone tell me?? totally can't remember!!) youtube.com/watch?v=mfe8_tzTybY

btw, to read my comments about the ending from 2008, go here:
http://ikutatomalove.blogspot.com/2008/11/end-revenge-remorse-and-retribution.html
http://ikutatomalove.blogspot.com/2008/12/some-more-comments-about-maous-ending.html
[oh, i also did a maou and ma wang long comparison post, but i forgot the link...it should be around the same time as these posts...]

so....

i cried a lot. =,( not as much as the 1st time watching it, but still....it hurts your stomach when u cry hard ne... it makes me so sad and hurt to see toma crying..... and i remember how in an interview from 2009, he said that even filming ningen (BTW, HE SAID MOST SCENES ONLY TOOK ONE SHOT FOR THIS MOVIE!!! AMAZING!! it'll be more natural this way, too!!), he didn't have as hard a time with it, as when he was filming maou!! cuz in maou, it's so tough for him, physically, and emotionally....his character kept getting cornered more and more...so he was a little quiet during his interviews at that time... really...naoto is an unforgettable role for toma....and toma, i'll always keep a part of Maou in my heart... i actually went out in the rain and just stood there for a while that day, and i got really wet and cold. but that feeling of being rained on...can also be nice...

soshitte...
here are just some of my thoughts about the ending...





the scene that hit me hardest...was the one in the hospital, when his brother died and his dad was devastated.
i didn't really talk about it much last time....but!! this time!! seeing naoto so sad. but he tried to be strong for his father!! he tried to not cry in front of him...seeing him looking so looking so hurt...so fragile, vulnerable, gentle...his eyes welling up with tears.....!!! *cries* it just broke my heart!! makes me want to jump in and give him a hug!!! =( and when his father said, you two will always be my sons na~, and he tried to smile and his soft "hai."!!!! toma!!! heartbreaking. kanzani. and THEN he just broke down outside....*cries*


and i like that phrase his father was talking about....something like "in the shadow of someone's happiness, there's always someone's sadness."

and i realized this time...when he called naruse to meet him there, he was leaving the police station!! just got his gun!! and in the dvd extras...he was sitting there, in his grey tanktop, doing the interview...and really...he seemed a bit quiet/tired then...

and this is really stupid of me, but i totally did not notice them saying yamano died, shot by a police officer!! lol. BAAAAAKA. i guess i was too distracted by everything else going on right then....i THOUGHT they said something like some guy stabbed a man, and that man is dead (kasai)!! but i'm glad he died!! i hate him!!! if not for him, naruse might have stopped his revenge plan!! and it's good that naruse heard the news as he was walking by, too...

listening to the maou soundtrack and remembering all this made me tear up again....
everyone, please, do live with all your strength for all the people who care about you...

i wish toma had won an award for his role as naoto. if he wins any awards for ningen (and i'm sure he will!!), then i'd like to think that, in a way....part of them are for naoto-kun...

and lastly, here are some of my thoughts about the ending from when i first finished it in 2008.....

i've come to think of naoto=toma, especially cuz toma really seems to FEEL everything that naoto feels, his acting is so passionate and genuine!! so it was super hard to watch him fake-dying...it's like a part of toma dies. in the cat in the red boots play, toma kinda died, and that was already tough for me to see! i've never ever wanted a character in a drama TO LIVE more than this time!! i so so so wanted him to survive naruse's revenge and LIVE ON. AND i've never been so devastated that someone died in a drama. even though i know he's not real, but on a certain level, in the world of Maou, he's real...

i loved it when naoto said "your revenge will end unfinished!" and pulled out his gun! but when he was so conflicted, crying, really didn't want to shoot him!!! and especially when he was crying more, shaking his head that he can't kill him!! TOMA DESERVES SOME KINDA AWARD FOR HIS AMAZING PERFORMANCE IN THAT SCENE!!! and of course, ohno was so amazing too, but really, i was just so proud of toma's performance!!

4 comments:

ultraviolet_p1 said...

I love Maou!
Great drama. The way they made the whole family crumble in one day was too much (the bro didn't die in the korean version), so his initial act of 'I want revenge' is fitting for Naoto...but he just couldn't. That ending was just so good with Naruse and all - performance wise. Of course, didn't really want too see Naoto die, but in a way, I think it's fitting that the cycle will end with both their sufferings and misgivings.

Didn't you think the way they made them into birds...or butterflies at the end end was kinda too weird...like it was a romantic-tised...I'm just not sure about that.

kate@Maou said...

sou des. it was a little too much, them all dying...! i understand why it's necessary, and naoto probably would not live on happily since all his friends and family died...but STILL!!! =[

butterflies. well...i thought it was a little corny, like in a cliche, it's been done, way. but i didn't think of it as being romantic (though there were other moments in the drama that seemed that way)...just that now they're like...friends/brothers who have been freed from all their sins and sufferings and will soon be able to start over their lives. cuz of the whole...ppl die and come back as a bird/butterfly/whatever and will reincarnate soon after that...that's what i thought.

ultraviolet_p1 said...

Oh, i kept having the Butterfly Lovers' type cliche in my head, you know the couple that doesn't end up together, whole tragedy story, and then after their death, they be together as butterflies.Maybe I was preconditioned. Oh well.

But that is why I didn't likened them as romantic, that is why I was a bit confused by the pair of butterflies, but as you said, the after life of happy rebirth maybe the idea behind it.

kate@MAOU said...

Butterfly Lovers. haha. i know the story, but i really didn't connect them at all. cuz i've seen lots of dramas, where ppl die and come back and visit their loved ones, as a bird or butterfly or some kinda insect/animal, be4 they leave to reincarnate...i think that's the idea behind it...just for naoto and naruse to say goodbye to them and show that they're happy and free now....

i think it's funny how some ppl tried to pair up toma and ohno...well, there are certain photoshoots that did kinda make them seem like a couple. lol. but in the drama...not really.