Sunday, November 30, 2008

see the moon + venus + jupiter in the evening sky today/tomorrow!

hi there!

just wanted to share this news
in case some of u here would want to check this out. =)
u can see the crescent moon appear really close to venus & jupiter on the evening of Dec. 1!
that's tomorrow for me, but today for many of you.
geez, i hate being behind every1 in time!!

and if u're in europe, u can see the venus 'eclipse' too! sugeh!!
....ehhhhh?! i didn't know the earth shines so brightly!
earthlight lighting the moon~ so cool.

read the news here:

and here's a drawing of where 2 look after sunset to see the moon, venus, and jupiter:

Friday, November 28, 2008

it's getting cold (toma + winter clothes!<3)/ more toma video clips/ new fan map members/

~~ toma-ism #70:

kate des.
genki? (how R u?)

genki desu. (i'm fine.)

happy belated thanksgiving 2 everyone in the usa!
i'm thankful that toma exists in this world and for all the wonderful toma fans that come here, & all who leave nice comments 4 me. =) arigatou.

ah, i read this the other day. jay chou said in an interview that any girl that likes his music is his girlfriend. lol!!! i know he's kidding, but still, what a sweet thing to say!!! ah~ if only toma would say something like that ne! smilie

i've noticed the weather has turned cold in tokyo. only around 50-something degrees F (or 15 degrees C) each day, and sometimes rainy, too. ma, it rains so much in tokyo! since its quite cold there, its appropriate that toma appear in some warm winter clothes in a recent magazine article ne! sugeh!! winter is kinda my fav season, and toma looks so good in layers of soft clothes like this!! ah, but ever since maou, toma rarely smiles in his photos. he is still so cute, but i miss his happy, smiling face!!! =/ anyway, thanks to meoinkie2 4 posting them at the AF toma thread & credit goes to some1 at LJ.

i totally forgot about posting this up! gomen!
ToYu gave me 2 links to watch the video where toma goes back to his high school and shows the reporter around. =) BUT ToYu said that the one is missing around 40 seconds!
though i didn't understand most of what they were saying, it's fun to watch toma back at his high school and giving a small tour of it!

u can watch it at either of these links:

also, here's some more places to go watch old toma video clips @youtube. before, i think i said kinakina4's youtube page. there's also a kinakina2 page! and boxATdeep has some recent and old video clips. if u speak cantonese, mcsquarecat has a bunch of hana kimi episodes dubbed in canto!

.............i also forgot to check if there are new members at the toma fan map for a long time. sorry! well, we have a few new members! =)


nurhidayahhanis [Malaysia], haars_fra, ?, ?, shule_way [:) tokyo, japan]

***SUMIMASEN, SHULE WAY, I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE TOMA PIC WHERE IT HAD YR NAME & COUNTRY ON IT! cuz there were duplicates. i went ahead and uploaded that toma pic and entered in your info again. though the photo has "kate" as the uploader, but scrolling over it, u'll see yr name & message! also, I GOT U THE GREEN DOT ON THE MAP! aren't u happy, u're the only green dot on the map and your dot really stands out the most!! haha...hopefully u will get this message! and hopefully i wrote yr name correctly. i think i remembered correctly...***

pls go here 2 see new members' pics and messages to toma (just point 2 their pic and u should see their message pop up, if they wrote one.)

[i'm sorry if u don't show up on the map, i HATE this problem that Frappr has been having for a long time now!!]

this is it 4 this post.
have a good weekend, everyone-chan! =)



i read that energy drinks can be bad for your heart if u drink them a lot!
i hope toma doesn't drink them regularly anymore after done filming Maou...cuz he said he drinks them everyday while he was filming then. here's the article. READ THE COMMENTS 4 MORE INFO!!

omg!!! i almost thought that toma sent me something just now, when my brother took in the mail & said there's some~thing for kate!! ah, but it was just a friend that sent me a postcard. (thanks, minna!
) but for a second there!!! i real~ly thought!!! haha......though there's very little chance, i still sometimes think i might find a small envelope from japan in the mailbox for me~~ baka! -__-

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

new autumn banners! i love autumn!!


new banners!!

though the weather has turned cold here & (probably) where u live, winter doesn't officially start till mid-december. but if i find nice winter pics be4 then, i'll update the banners. =)

the one above is A Carpet of Leaves, taken by Paul Davidson in autumn in Nagoya, Japan. and it was taken near the end of november of 2005, and now it's also near the end of november!! pretty cool, huh?? yappari i'm always happy when i can use pics of scenary f/japan!
the one at Dear Toma.. is Blue is my color, taken by Edgar Barany. and i love the titles of both pics! =) this might be taken in prague, czech republic...


they're really pretty?

arigatou gozaimas!

it's thanks to these awesome photographers ne!
so~ thank you, Paul and Edgar!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

toma = love / a toma wax figurine @Madame Tussauds??

[in shinjuku, tokyo! credit: i really like this LOVE sign. so simple, but very pretty & meaningful. some ppl have made spoofs of it though. haha. like a "HATE" sculpture. haha. no no, that's incorrect. everyone should realize the opposite of LOVE is INDIFFERENCE. but that'd be too long to make into a sculpture. =P it'd have to be


toma-ism #69:
what the world needs now
is love, sweet (Toma) love!

[lyrics from Jackie DeShannon's
What the World Needs Now Is Love]

(sorry 4 the delay in finishing this post!)

toma standing next to the LOVE sign above would be redundant (LOVE and LOVE next 2 each other) because TOMA = LOVE!! *__* i remember when i first became a fan last year, i'd see lots of fans using that phrase, "toma is love!". and i'd think that's a kinda funny thing 2 say, but then i soon found out that it's so true!! haha~ for me now, toma & love are always linked together.
toma is love and love is toma.

4 more info about this LOVE sign: )

speaking of sculptures, did u know there's a Statue of Liberty replica in tokyo?! u can see it in the link below. ehhh? sugoi! tokyo's got so much cool stuff...such a cool & beautiful city!! i wanted 2 go there since be4 i knew about toma, now it's really my ultimate dream trip! ~_~

well, thinking of the LOVE sculpture made me think of how it'd be awesome if toma had a statue in tokyo! hahaha. but then i thought of how it'd be even better if toma had a wax figure at Madame Tussauds Hong Kong!! Madame Tussauds have locations around the world and they have a lot of famous ppl's wax figures. most look A LOT like them!! but in the HK Madame Tussauds, of course they have a lot of asian stars too, not just white international stars. most of them are chinese celebrities, but i know ayumi hamasaki and some other japanese ppl are in there. if only toma could be REALLY POPULAR and get his own wax figure there!! then any fan can "meet" toma and take a picture with him if they can go to HK!!! xD

and they don't have any specific restrictions of what u can do with the figure! but really, all i want is a HUG and maybe kiss him on the cheek.
but really, u can imagine the more passionate/crazy fans could do all kinds of crazy stuff w/their idol!!
seriously, i remember reading about how andy lau's (their 1st silicon figure, w/an actual beating heart inside!!
) figure is 1 of the most sexually harassed there! here's some funny comments about it (NOTE: they made a mistake, it should be Silicon Andy!): "As reported by (via Yahoo! Hong Kong), Andy Lau has been sexually harassed for years. The perpetrators: tourists who visit Hong Kong to feel up his fake body at Madame Tussaud’s House of Embalmed Corpses, er, Wax Museum. Apparently, visitors have been getting a mite too close to the Infernal Affairs-themed Andy doll in order to touch, nibble, or finger various parts of his fake body. There have also been reports of visitors unzipping his pants, or even reaching into them - hopefully because they’re professionals paid to check out the quality of the wax. Regardless of these individuals’ skills at wax Q.C., workers at the museum state that they have to check the statue at the end of each day to see if Wax Andy is still in one piece. Physically, that is. Psychologically, there may be no hope for Wax Andy, or for real Andy once he gets a load of his wax twin’s adventures." (credit: ; go there 2 check out some pics of the fake andy!)

0_o wow~

actually, it's better that toma not have a wax figure there. fans would probably damage fake toma really badly, very quickly! i don't even wanna think about what they'd do to him!!!
we'll just have 2 be happy with seeing toma in our dreams or just photoshopping ourselves next 2 him on the computer. =) yappari~ i've got some! and in 1 we're so close it's almost as if he's hugging me~~
smilieawwwww~ smilie (actually almost-hugging hagu-chan!)

oh, u can check out some pics/info of the wax figures at at Madame Tussauds Hong Kong below:
[close-up of fake aaron kwok's face!! really looks a lot like him!!]
[madonna, prez bush!, ayumi hamasaki, HITLER!, michael jackson, angelina jolie, tiger woods, etc., etc.]

Friday, November 21, 2008

there's no one else like ikuta toma~~ some quotes & pictures

toma-ism #68:
the l♥ve of my life.

[this picture is from the start of 2008 probably. but it goes well with these quotes. TOMA WAS THE #1 BREAKOUT STAR OF 2007, i think!! i love how they have that crown above his name! CREDIT:]

here's a new friday post!

sa, just a really short post.
hopefully u have not seen the pics
(well, fan art. sorry! if i see the originals later, i'll tell u!)
below yet. they're new to me, but they were probably taken since summertime.

btw, Grease has recently completed all its shows successfully! toma said during the last show it was almost like a concert at the end! wah, if only some1 recorded it and uploaded it to youtube or something. haha. i'm happy toma gets a break now!! hopefully he'll take some time to read some fanmail, especially MY LETTERs!

i really like these 2 quotes and they describe toma very well! and i completely agree, we are all unique and i love sharing toma stuff here, it makes me happy when i think i can make others happy! i got both from The Foundation for a Better Life's ( daily quote by email. =)

“At bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time.”
—Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900), scholar, writer, philosopher

“It's not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of personkind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely.”
—Dr. Leo Buscaglia (1924-1998); author, professor of special education

Here are some cool pics of toma that i haven't seen before at baidu! check out the next page, too. the pics i posted below, except for the first one come from the page after that (page 13). see the wallpaper-sized version there! but u should check it right away, cuz the page # will change later. but most of them are wallpapers fans made, so they have been TOO airbrushed, mostly. =/


[kyaaa!! though i don't like the bottom part of his outfit, so i cut it out. o_o i used to have buck teeth like toma. hey, another thing we have in common! =P but not after i got my braces. yeah~ sometimes i wish toma's teeth were not so crooked. =T but it's his big front teeth that adds to his cuteness a lot of times, when he's making faces or even just talking normally. lol.]

[these pics look like clothing ads almost?? sugoi! *_* ]

Thursday, November 20, 2008

3 songs i really like! / why sammul chan reminds me of toma...

smilietoma-ism #67:
he's really~! very~!
incredibly~! unbelievably~!
insanely~! amazingly~ CUTE & LOVABLE!!! ♥

[i just made this .gif today. screencaps of the opening of Genkidan Engimono, a tv show/play toma was in with his buddy Shunsuke Kazama (Page f/Akihabara@Deep!) from 2006. LOL! i always love seeing toma's cute/funny faces! though the show was sad/serious,about toma befriending a girl ghost...just watched some parts of it the other day at either kinakina2 or kinakina4's youtube page.]

savvykate des.

it seems like i haven't posted in a long time,
but it's only since monday, not friday!
(but cuz i started that post since friday, that's the date they used)

oh, i wanna recommend 3 songs that i really like and am listening to over and over these days! ASH LIKE SNOW by THE BRILLIANT GREEN (love this name!! sugeh!!), DARKNESS EYES by DBSK, and MY WORLD by the SICK PUPPIES. they're really AWESOME songs!! u can listen to them and see the translated lyrics by going 2 the links below. thanks to my myspace friend, kevin, i discovered the Ash Like Snow song. =) and Darkness Eyes & My World were used in 2 of the Maou MVs. i love how the lyrics of both songs describe naoto's feelings/chaotic situation so perfectly!!


today's post is not about toma, but about a guy that reminds me of toma, SAMMUL CHAN (darn, couldn't find any good recent pics of him!). but hey, there are some great MVs that i've linked to below!! even if u don't like him, you'll still like the MVs, they R pretty good! and FIONA's (u know, fi, 1 of my fav hk singers & 1 of the girls i think would be cool if she was toma's girlf!) is in the 1st one!! she's so cute even in that boyish, really short haircut! =P

u know in the past, i've talked about some hong kong actors/singers that i think look like toma. well, this time this guy reminds me of him cuz of his personality/boyish look/gestures. he often has these effeminate gestures & he pouts a lot, too. haha. he's also good-looking, but in a kinda feminine way. and toma and sammul have got some other things in common. sammul's an actor, mainly, but he's a good singer too. he used to do a lot of hosting work for some entertainment/traveling shows. he's also a straight-forward guy. he's a pretty good actor, but never got very popular. partly cuz of the tough competition and probably partly cuz his roles are limited cuz of his baby face.

and because of some of the reasons above and he doesn't have a girlfriend, there have been a lot of rumors that he's gay. in HK, ppl are still not that open-minded about gay people. except for leslie cheung, i can't think of any HK celebrity that was famous and loved & respected by many, who was gay or even might be gay (ok, and maybe aaron kwok). and almost every time (and there's been very few times any main characters are gay) there's a gay couple in a tvb series, they have been portrayed in a negative way and/or they totally stereotype them. sammul has always been upset/angry about this kinda news and denied all the rumors (which R based on nothing, really! they always exagerrate, never had any real proof.), but the media won't stop. once in a while, they'll bring up this topic again. they even linked him with Ron Ng, a guy that's worked with him in several dramas, too! and below, u can see an MV some1 made where the 2 of them seems like a couple. haha. but it's a sweet MV ne! xD luckily toma doesn't have the same problem sammul has (negative press about him cuz they think he's gay)! it's almost the complete opposite, right? haha. if sammul was born in japan (or even taiwan, i think, anywhere where they appreciate pretty boys/bishies), he wouldn't have this problem.

anyway...sammul's a pretty good actor and he seems like a good guy in general...hopefully he'll get more successful and the tabloids will stop making up stuff about him. i've been watching the tvb drama, The Four, lately, and sammul's great in there. he's the witty/show-off guy that makes u laugh. =)

[fiona & sammul The Academy MV, really sweet MV about their love story while in the police training academy, 2005 ]
[sammul & charmaine Maiden's Vow MV, modern/ancient times, *A LOT OF CUTE SAMMUL SCENES!*, 2007]
[sammul & myolie's sad Survivor's Law MV. about their breakup cuz she likes another guy...see him when he's sad/gets mad!, 2003]
[sammul & ron's friendship/guy love =P (from Guts of Man/On the First Beat)! modern/ancient times, 2005/2007]
[MV for a song sammul sang about mothers' love for their children f/a christian movie, 2005]

----------> for more info about him:

p.s. i used to have a crush on sammul. (:

Friday, November 14, 2008

Maou vs. Ma Wang ( or The Devil vs. The Devil ! )


to be continued...

(sorry, i couldn't possibly continue this today!
but i will tomorrow! gomen! do come back!)

[more cool pics of the Ma Wang cast below. very stylish! =) smallest pic credit:]


i'm sorry for the delay in finishing this post!
took me longer than i expected + some things got in the way.

1st of all, here are some useful links
for anyone that wants to learn more about Ma Wang! [info] [watch it w/eng. subs] [for more info...] [info about the most popular guy f/the cast]

I actually couldn't find much info about this drama...
but it was popular in japan in 2007, even its soundtrack was very popular!
i read about that here. i think in korea it didn't get as high ratings as everyone expected, though.couldn't live up to all the hype. but i'm not very sure. in the end, maybe the ratings went's kinda surprising to me that TBS would attempt to do their own version of such a popular drama just 1 year afterwards!! what if ppl don't like it as much as the original or don't even bother watching? risky! i bet toma's mom still likes Ma Wang better la!! lol. she really loves her korean dramas! :P

u know what, i suddenly thought today...
wouldn't it be cool if there was a remake where the 2 main characters are girls and the other character who can perform psychometry is a guy?? that would be...actually somehow hard to imagine, cuz even girl bullies...i can't imagine them actually physically hurting another student...often, they just use words to hurt others emotionally...hmmm...
anyway, just something to think about. yeah~

most of the time, remakes are not as great as the original. but in this case, in my opinion, i think Maou was better than Ma Wang. mostly cuz of toma, of course! haha. of course, i'm very very biased. BUT! i really tried to be neutral and compare these 2 dramas fairly. and i'll explain why i like maou better...but first i'll just compare how similar/different these 2 dramas are.

----> NOTE: i only watched parts of episode 1 and some parts from random episodes, then parts of the last episode of Ma Wang. and also some Ma Wang MVs that fans made. SOME ARE REALLY GREAT!! [SO, PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG ABOUT ANYTHING, I DID SKIP THROUGH A LOT OF IT!!]

SO, this is what i found out...

1. just like toma said, they really followed the plot of Ma Wang very very closely!! some scenes and the ending are very very similar. for example, the scene that naoto tries to talk to yamano and yamano doesn't want to talk to him, but naoto follows him anyway, out to the street at night...that scene was almost exactly the same!! i mean, the dialogue was almost word-for-word the same. just that Gang Oh Soo (ma wang's "naoto") was not as angry/emotional/sad as naoto.

2. DID YOU NOTICE IN MAOU, THAT WE ALMOST NEVER SEE NAOTO AT HOME DURING THE ENTIRE DRAMA?? 0__0 it's like he's always at the police station or running off somewhere...yet we see naruse at home many times, either being sad or EVIL in his dark room with a bunch of cute, secretly taken naoto photos. xD I ONLY REALIZED THIS when i saw Gang Oh Soo come home in the first episode. in Ma Wang, they all live together in a mansion. but in Maou, it seems like naoto lives with his dad in a pretty big house. despite them not getting along. cuz no way he could afford to have such a nice, huge room on just a policeman's salary, right? and his brother and his wife lived in a seperate house. ma, it's not really important, but it's just something i noticed.
(11.21.08 EDIT: i was wrong! actually, seems like they DID all live together, the serizawa family, in Maou. cuz was just screencapping and i noticed it was the same house!! just that u
almost never see them together in the house at the same time, so...and probably they didn't spend much time together though they lived together, though. cuz naoto didn't seem that close with his brother and dad...but i could've sworn the outside of the house naoto went in and the outside of the house where souda saw mari and naoto's brother, were different!! anyway, so in both dramas, they do all live together!)

3. the differences in the 3 main characters. ummmm. they are very similar, except for naoto's character. but in Ma Wang, everyone is probably around 10 years older. in Ma Wang, Seo Hae In (Ma Wang's "shiori")actually has a cool/creepy looking dark room where she uses the tarot cards to tell others' fortunes!! she's got a much bigger role than shiori in Maou, of course. since this drama is a lot longer than Maou, they have more time to talk about the other characters. i suppose all the supporting characters will be more developed in Ma Wang than in Maou, cuz of this. but from what little i saw, the supporting characters like naoto's brother, dad, and yamano are almost exactly the same! their basic image, personality, mannerisms, etc.

Gang Oh Soo (ma wang's "naoto") is a lot tougher and more mature/calm than naoto. well, the actor that plays him is older than toma and looks a lot tougher than toma. he really acts like a gangster, very short-tempered and i know i'm being repetitive, but he just IS A TOUGH GUY that you don't want to mess with. haha. i couldn't find much MVs about him, but he seems a lot more cool than naoto, that is he doesn't often get as emotional or cry as much...but when he does get angry or does cry, he's really very great in those scenes!

Joo Ji Hoon plays Oh Seung Ha (Ma Wang's "naruse"). and he's the most popular out of the cast! he was a model before. he's a handsome guy, obviously, but he's also a really great actor! just that sometimes his icy stare is so dead/robot-like, it's creepy. but he can also look very sensitive/fragile/shy/like a really kind and sweet guy!! also, he seems more out-going than ohno's naruse...

it's pretty cool how they made the evil guy more handsome AND younger than the good guy, who's older and looks like a bad guy that could easily beat up the other guy. hahaha. it makes it really really hard for anyone to be suspicious of Oh Seung Ha, when he seems like such a GOOD guy and he's so good-looking too! it's kinda the opposite for Maou. not that ohno is not handsome, but of course, toma is cuter! and ohno's just so TAN. it makes him look more evil. lol.

4. the love story: Ma Wang developed the love story a lot more than in Maou. of course cuz it's longer, they are able to focus on things like this more. from what i saw in the MVs, seems like the love story between those two is quite sweet!! but then i still prefer how maou did it...focus more on the revenge stuff and just a little on the love stuff. cuz would only make things sadder and more conflicting later on. and it would make it more easy for me to hate the evil guy if he doesn't have a girlfriend that cares about him. and if i don't see his happy/kind side too much.

5. the length: maou was 11 episodes long. ma wang was 20 ep.s long. almost twice as long. though since i was a kid, i've been watching hk dramas that are around 20-30 ep.s long, now i really love how japanese dramas can manage to make such great dramas that are about half as long! it seems like BECAUSE of their time constraint, they really try to make every moment count and they end up making better dramas cuz of that!! somehow, the pace does not seem too fast, it's just right (most of the time), and they also wrap up everything nicely at the end (which is so great to see, cuz i've been disappointed too many times by too many generic and stupid tvb drama endings!!). well, my opinion is just based on the 4 toma dramas i've watched, but i'd like to think that it applies to all japanese dramas around that same length. =) so i think of maou as a shorter, more succinct, better version of ma wang.
& i love succinctness! don't waste my time with a draggy plot, keep things nicely paced and get to the point! ....ok, so maybe they had to leave out some storylines or supporting characters, but i'm sure they kept what was most important. (i realize i have been anything BUT succinct recently, though. sorry! when it come to talking about maou, i just can't stop myself! xD )

_____________________ WARNING: SPOILERS! ______________________________

i thought it was really interesting how the ending is 80% the same, but there are some KEY differences that make me like the maou ending A LOT MORE!

(*if u don't mind, i'll just use their names from Maou, makes things easier for me, and for every1 to understand!*)

1st of all, naoto's brother doesn't die, but his dad dies from a heart attack after knowing naoto arrested his brother. he also argues with naoto before dying! i really like how it was in Maou a lot more!! cuz after his brother died, his dad actually softened up and acted like a real, caring dad. that was really so nice to see!! that his dad did change his ways before he died. and since naoto caused naruse's death, it seems right that naruse would cause naoto's brother's death. and both of them dying means that naoto has no family left, nothing left to lose. of course he'd want to kill naruse after all this!!

2ndly, yamano did not stab naruse in ma wang's ending. he was stabbed by some guy just after he left his office that night. that guy [thanks to the reviewer here for clearing this up:] turns out to be the son of naruse's first victim (the lawyer)! this is ironic and a surprising twist! that naruse, obsessed with revenge, is finally killed by a guy who wants to revenge for his dad, who naruse killed. i think it was better that yamano stab naruse, cuz he got stabbed because he was trying to save kasai! and after all, it was yamano's knife that got hideo killed and started all now it's his knife again that kills naruse and puts an end to everything!

3rd, i'm not sure in Ma Wang, if naruse left shiori anything besides the music box with a ring inside. seems like he didn't?? i liked it better, how in Maou, they have her running to try to save him, as what he said in the letter (so touching!!) is read. in ma wang, she took a taxi. also, i liked it better that in maou, naruse walked to their last meeting place after being stabbed, unlike in ma wang, where he actually drove there. it's just more dramatic and sad if they are walking/running than if they're in a car, u know?

4th, naoto seemed too calm for a guy whose dad just died (but i guess for this version of naoto, it's expected that he acts this way??), and he knew that naruse wanted him to kill him. and he just seemed too calm about it all, as he talked to naruse almost as if he was a therapist or a police mediator!! he gave up the idea of shooting naruse almost immediately, too! no real hesitation... he was almost like a motivational speaker in that moment....he can't be that optimistic and so "i wanna live no matter how horrible my life is"!! it doesn't seem right...i don't like how they made him so level-headed and sensible right then.

and after all that, they just ended with shiori looking at their lifeless bodies. =( TOO SAD!! i would have lost my mind if maou's ending was like that!! after all the sadness they put us through, they've gotta try to cheer us up a little afterwards!

i like the maou ending SOOOOO much more!! (though watching the ma wang ending also got me teary-eyed, especially when naruse was hugging naoto and crying so hard!!)
in Maou, naoto was really struggling and conflicted with the idea of shooting and killing naruse!! that was such a touching moment, to see naoto still really doesn't wanna kill him!! and naruse really trying to convince him to shoot him and let him return to his real self!! i really liked the more emotional and touching dialogue in this scene compared to ma wang's!! it was much more of a struggle and a lot more tragic for them in maou than in ma wang. AND after he was shot, naoto gesturing for him not to call the ambulance, saying it's better if he had just killed him from the start!!! that's what made me more sad, but it shows how great a guy naoto is, even THEN, he can say that and he does want to die to really make up for what he did!! =( and seeing that harmonica in naoto's hand at the end is a lot better than seeing it in naruse's hand (in ma wang). it shows he really has completely forgiven naoto, this way!!

__________________________ *END OF SPOILERS* ________________________


(*if u don't mind, i'll just use their names from Maou, makes things easier for me, and for every1 to understand!*)

MAOU VS. MA WANG in these categories:

-poster: this is ma wang's main poster, though i posted the cooler looking one at the start of the post. it looks somewhat old-fashioned/typical and boring to me. i also don't like the faded colors! i like Maou's poster more! it's scary, very unique, and really brings out the MAOU theme!

-soundtrack: hands down, the Maou OST wins!! i love all the tragic and scary/exciting music of Maou! and the sad instrumentals really bring out the mood of this sad drama so well!!! just listening to the OST now still makes me wanna cry!

-opening sequence: both are very cool, but i like Ma Wang's more! it's really very intense and stylized!

-ending: of course, i like MAOU'S better!! ma wang's was good, but MAOU'S is brilliant! for all the reasons i said in the spoilers above.

-naoto and naruse: this is a tough one, all 4 of them are really talented actors who bring out the feelings of these 2 broken men full of regret and sadness. i think it's a TIE! a draw. truly. although, i like the way toma portrayed this character more. he's more emotional and not as tough as ma wang's version, but it makes u feel sorry for him more and makes him more...human...u can relate to him more. and shiori...she seems pretty much the same in both dramas.

-crying scenes: because toma cries in such a genuine and sad way that makes u want to cry too, Maou wins for this one! and he manages to still look so cute when he's crying too. =) ohno and the actress playing shiori R also great at crying! the ma wang cast also had a lot of sad crying scenes, though. especially Joo Ji Hoon!!!!!

-costumes: the clothes for the guys of ma wang look more stylish and varied. at least their naoto doesn't have to wear tanktops all the time! haha. sometimes, i'd get so bored with seeing toma and naruse wear basically the same thing all the time. but for the girls...though i don't like how both of them dress in general, maou's shiori's clothes is better! but ma wang still wins for this, since it's 2 out of 3 that's better.

-art direction/editing/directing: i think art direction is the way they film something (like the angles, how they transition, whatever...)? it's probably a tie for all three categories. both dramas seem really great with all this stuff!

-which cast is more good-looking?: well, in a beauty contest, of course TOMA HAS TO WIN!! haha. toma is definitely more handsome than ma wang's naoto, but ma wang's naruse is more handsome than ohno. but maou's shiori and most of the supporting cast are more good-looking than ma wang's. SO MAOU WINS AGAIN! (:

so~ count up the points above. MAOU 5, MA WANG 2.
and~ any drama with toma in it gets an additional 100 points,
so MAOU WINS!! 105 to 2. lol~
hey, it's my blog. i make the rules here!!



............................ Ma Wang's OST:

[i like The Devil track (which is used in the opening theme) best! a lot of the instrumental music is nice...but there are a lot related to the love story, and some songs sound a little out of place for such a sad drama! yappari i like the Maou OST more ne.]

....................... some Ma Wang video clips:
[MA Wang The Devil Opening Credits / i love it! really cool, intense!!]
[魔王MV-hear me/ another MV about Ju Ji Hoon with some of his best sad/happy/intense moments. there R no spoilers if u don't understand korean!]
[awesome MV about Ju Ji Hoon, the evil guy in Ma Wang. handsome guy, huh? =) TO AVOID SPOILERS, STOP WATCHING AT AROUND the 3 minute mark!!]
[畏缩不前(魔王预告片)-마왕 BY:支支/ the song is too relaxed to go with this MV! but it's still a pretty good MV and it's got a lot of great, intense scenes about the 2 main characters. there R no spoilers IF u don't understand korean or u can't read chinese. cuz there are clips of them talking and there R chinese subtitles at the bottom! *I REALLY LOVE THAT COOL SHOT OF HIM STANDING ON TOP OF A BUILDING LOOKING DOWN AT THE CITY AT NIGHT!!! sugoi!!]
[魔王 MV -promise/ about the sweet love story between Ju Ji Hoon & the female lead]
[some sad or happy moments where u see the good/happy & warm side of Ju Ji Hoon]

______________________STOP HERE! videos w/SPOILERS:
[魔王MV_I am Died/ some important/really sad scenes, focused on about Ju Ji Hoon again]
[别爱-魔王마왕 BY:支支(THE DEVIL)/ sad or tenshion-filled scenes about the GOOD GUY/BAD GUY'S struggles]
[魔王MV-心酸的爱(sarang)/ another MV about their love story, but a more sad & longer one]

THE END: revenge, remorse, and retribution

♥ toma-ism #66:

And if you only knew
Just how much the sun needs you
To help him light the skies
You would be surprised
You would be surprised.
[lyrics from Cerf, Mitiska &
Jaren's Light The Skies]

good evening~~

yes~ it's kinda the real last friday=Maou day for me today. =(
the last time (probably) that i'll spend a whole post talking about it, at least.
but...all good things have to come to an end and all that....

oh~ i noticed more ppl here recently...i think it's cuz winter vacation has started in malaysia & phillippines?? congrats to those of you that are on holiday now!! =) have fun!! watch maou & hachikuro if u haven't already!! i'm guessing so, since my friend in singapore said her exams R almost over & vacation would start soon, probably countries nearby R the same.

well~ i have bad news and good news. which do u want to hear first?


that's what i would pick too!
i always prefer bad, then good. haha~

THERE'S NO MORE MAOU (well, since sept. already, it ended, but u know what i mean...i really miss Naoto and watching Maou! too bad there won't be a special or anything more to this drama...)

though i've been brainstorming a lot, i can't think of anything we can make together for toma for christmas....BUT i've thought of a christmas present for all my loyal readers here!! i'm gonna "make" it... and no matter where u live, whether u're a girl/guy, young/older, longtime toma fan/new fan, u will like it. NO, YOU'LL LOVE IT!! =P *i think.* but i don't want to give anything away, it's a SURPRISE! i'll "give" it to you on christmas day!! ^__^ please look forward to it!! ~_~
.....actually, it's not THAT good, so please don't have too high expectations for it! haha. and NO, it's not a message from toma (I WISH!) or airplane tickets to tokyo so u can try to meet toma! lol. wouldn't that be the ABSOLUTELY best gifts for ANY toma fan?? hahaha.

i hope you'll all like it. even if u don't, please don't re-gift and remember it's the thought that counts and please don't be too disappointed ne! hahaha~
seriously, though, it's just something from me to you, to thank you for coming here, and for all your nice comments. whenever i see that the cluster map's "visits on previous day" number is high or i read your warm & kind & sweet & funny comments/messages (whether here or at Dear Toma...) for me or toma, it really makes me HAPPY! *__*

i've thought of some other cool stuff i can add to this blog during december so everyone can feel the cheerful christmas and wonderful winter spirit, so please also look forward to that! =)

before all the serious Maou stuff, here's just some funny Maou/revenge related stuff to lighten up the mood!

[cute lil' devil, huh? credit: zdnet tech update newsletter. don't remember the subject of that article, but it was certainly nothing evil/devil related! haha.]

i remember watching a simpsons episode where, for some reason, homer dies! and before he did, he told his family: "Avenge me in a flamboyant, impractical fashion!" lol!! xD it made me think of naruse's revenge right elaborately planned out perfectly and in such a complex, detailed way! (btw, if u like watching criminals with incredibly, insanely elaborate plans to murder someone, watch Monk!! they come up with the craziest, yet most ingenious plans that only Monk can figure out!! u can watch some episodes here if u don't have USA Network.) but revenge in movies/dramas are the most exciting to watch when they're so elaborate and extremely complex, right? but marge got it right when she said "revenge only leads to misery"!

[also! this was a scene that made me think of what toma must be like while on break from filming at the studio...waiting around 4 time for his turn to film, being bored, just hanging out and having a drink. haha~]

the ending of Maou has had a huge effect on me! i think i need a week or 2 till i can move on and watch the hana kimi SP!! cuz i still mainly see toma as naoto 4 now, and i can't forget naoto yet!! well, of course i'll never forget naoto, but i mean, i can't see toma as nakatsu yet!!

also! i have only uploaded screencaps up to episode 9! i will upload 10 & 11's later...THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THE SCREENCAPS, OF COURSE! You have been warned!

MINNA, GOMEN! THIS POST IS EXTREMELY LONG FOR THOSE THAT HAVE FINISHED MAOU. BUT IT'S NOT SO LONG FOR THOSE THAT HAVEN'T AND DON'T READ THE SPOILERS. HAHA. but i hope you'll come back after you finish and do read them then! or not. it's up to you~

~11.17.08 edit~

REALLY, TRULY, THANK YOU x 1000000000!
I LOVE U ALL!! ♥♥♥


let's jump into Maou world one last!

[btw, u can read all my previous, most significant posts about Maou below:]

first, here are more songs that remind me of Maou. and yes, these R some of my fav songs!

(makes me think of naoto, determined to catch naruse!)

You're the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender?

I'm the voice inside your head
You refuse to hear
I'm the face that you have to face
Mirrored in your stare
I'm what's left, I'm what's right
I'm the enemy
I'm the hand that will take you down
Bring you to your knees.

So who are you?

(makes me think of shiori and naruse's relationship...he's always leaving her behind...and sometimes all he said was only "goodnight". I LOVE HOW THE SONG STARTS OUT SLOW AND SAD BUT SLOWLY BUILDS UP TO SHOW THE FRUSTRATION/ANGER! and the part about being an angel. he's known as the angelic lawyer, after all!)

I can't leave without saying ...goodbye.
So did you really think that you could take it?
Could you make it alone tonight?
I never could have hoped for anything more.
Be my angel if you can, alright.
You always say goodnight, and you, you always say goodnight.

(this song is actually about a person growing to hate a person who won't like him back, but cut out certain parts of the song, and it could really be about how naoto can tell naruse is not the angelic person everyone thinks he is...and that he's also a sad/guilty person like naoto! a lot of it describes what naoto goes through perfectly!!)

But I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside you're ugly
You're ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times
That I've cried
All this wasted
It's all inside
And I feel
All this pain
Stuffed it down
It's back again.

(love this song! God is never far behind. *heart* i like to think of it as God trying to send naoto (or even naruse) a message, that it's ok if u make mistakes, and He'll always love him and be around to watch over him no matter what happens. *heart* and i love the part "the truth is shining in your eyes" makes me think of naoto, especially when his eyes are welling up with tears and they do shine beautifully!! ahhhh~ i wish i could look that good when crying! how does toma do it???)

I am sending you a message
Don't ever think that its too late
When you care about someone
There is always room for change
You're allowed to make mistakes
Its a part of every life
I don't see you any different
The truth is shining in your eyes

I will always be your friend
I know who you are inside
I am with you till the end
Never far behind
I am standing in the distance
You can take your time
and I will be here waiting
Never far behind.
[the lyrics are on this video!]

[*GOMEN! had trouble connecting to the internet. i'll be back later to finish this post!*

sorry again, i'll have to finish this post & also compare maou w/ma wang tomorrow!

see u tomorrow!
good night. ]

...................................... some cool Maou youtube videos:

[Maou.. Behind The Scenes!/ some interviews with ohno, toma; photoshoot, etc.]
[Haunting me/ MV of Maou's episode 6 ------pretty cool!]

___________________DANGER! : videos with *SPOILERS*________________________
[Maou Fanvid / My World ----AWESOMENESS!! my fav maou DMV!! love the FAST pace & editing and great song and the CUTE naoto parts & all the intensity! but try 2 ignore the keroppi in the corner!]
[Maou - The killer in me is the killer in you/ awesome!! great editing & song!!

[Maou Jdrama fanvid/ cool song! great editing! love all the intense naoto scenes & him RUNNING! <3 href="">
[Naruse & Serizawa MV - Nickelback *Gotta be somebody*/ a pretty intense MV...but it almost seems like they wanna make them seem like a couple??]
[arashi - truth/ great scenes where they glare at each other at the start...]
[Naruse and Shiori - Leave the rest /excellent song choice!! perfectly describes naruse's situation/feelings!!]
[Naruse & Shiori /all their best scenes together!!] comments (NO SPOILERS) for ep.s (2nd half of)9 - 11(final ep.):

(BTW, i had to wait around 1 month to watch the 2nd half of ep. 9!! cuz was waiting for stormy team to release all the last episodes be4 i continued watching. that was really tough for me! then i had to wait a couple weeks cuz i was sick before i could watch the last episode! that was torture. )

toma gave a beautiful brilliant heart-breaking performance!!!!! especially in ep. 11!!! especially their last encounter!!!!!!!!!! my god, what a completely brilliant actor!
but it's just that sometimes he looks REALLY tired...i dunno if it's the long hours of filming (late into the night, especially), or is it that he's supposed to look that way cuz naoto is tired? or both? haha. i'm looking forward to a series where he's the male lead, but hopefully for a happy/romantic drama!

--toma's look of "shock!" is just awesome! wait, i think i've said this before? haha~ well, he's just really so great at looking shocked!! 2nd great at it is shiori!

--kasai angrily pushes naoto against a wall! i was surprised! anytime any1 pushes some1 against a wall & gets in their face, it seems almost romantic in a passionate way, right?? haha. and he was clenching his clothes and leaning on his stomach!!! whether they did it on purpose or not, that sad/desperate moment turned out to be seductive/hot!! lol. any toma fan would gladly trade places with kasai in that moment! xD haih(yes)! *heart*

--i thought it was interesting that toma's characters in H&C and Maou seem like complete opposites on the surface, BUT they've actually got a lot in common. takemoto & naoto are both self-conscious, sensitive/fragile and sad/lonely guys, really...though naoto is older, stronger (figuratively & literally) & more mature, of course. and both have an unrequited love. both don't get along with their fathers. both really value friendship. and both are really good guys!!!

--speaking of H&C, kasai kept reminding me of mayama f/ h&C! they kinda look alike, mainly cuz of the glasses. haha. and he had a relationship with an older woman, too!! some similarities there...

--random: i like naoto's dark grey socks! =P

--both honey & clover and maou often have that *ping* sound effect that signals someone has appeared or something important has happened. i was kinda annoyed of that at first, but after a while, i kinda like it! it's like an exclamation point, but in the form of that sound, to get your attention!

-i'm sad Maou had ended, but man, am i glad i don't have to see that scary/evil/maou face again!! at the start of every episode!! whew.

_______________________ PLEASE STOP!!!
SPOILERS BELOW!___________




----- I BELIEVE THAT ALL TOMA FANS WILL DEFINITELY BE VERY SAD AFTER WATCHING THE ENDING. =,( when will it stop hurting??? i really did feel so HURT and SAD after i finished it!! i feel like i need to "mourn" naoto's, naruse's, everyone's deaths for a while be4 i can move on to watching the hana kimi SP!

and at least u can be a little happier, thinking "at least my life doesn't suck as badly as naoto's and naruse!" right? eh? fufufu. =T


------- naoto is more "real" for me than toma's previous drama characters cuz he's not from a manga & he's got such a sad life story....i mean, i haven't seen him as an anime or manga character, a drawing...he's just a very REAL character to me. i've come to think of naoto=toma, especially cuz toma really seems to FEEL everything that naoto feels, his acting is so passionate and genuine!!

so it was super hard to watch him's like a part of toma dies. in the cat in the red boots play, toma kinda died, and that was already tough for me to see! i've never ever wanted a character in a drama TO LIVE more than this time!! i so so so wanted him to survive naruse's revenge and LIVE ON. AND i've never been so devastated that someone died in a drama. even though i know he's not real, but on a certain level, in the world of Maou, he's real, so if he had lived on, i would be so happy!! his character would in a way, be immortal and have endless possibilities in that world. but now that he died, it's so final. that's it. it's over. no more naoto. it's so final and it's really sad. =(

---Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.-- Mary Anne Radmacher
[sierra club's DAILY RAY OF HOPE email for that day, the day that i finished maou. isn't this quote so fitting, so perfect for that day?? i saw it in my inbox AFTER i had finished maou, and it made me wanna cry again! I WISH NAOTO WAS STILL ALIVE! YOU ARE ABSOLVED NAOTO!! YOU'VE BEEN ABSOLVED, FORGIVEN FOR A LONG TIME NOW!]

--------it's amazing how naruse wants to destroy naoto, just completely shatter his entire world
[borrowed f/King of Queens, when doug was talking about how he would feel if anything bad should happen to his child in the future. i suppose it would be true vice versa! a child would be devastated if he lost his parent, and that's what happened to naruse!]...yet u feel sorry for both sides (though mostly 4 naoto). but it's that balance that drives u crazy at the end....he was wrong, but he's wronger 4 killing so many ppl, but he had a good reason, but he's still WRONG!! but he made him do that/made him evil...but it was an accident!! and so on.... =( BUT WHO WAS REALLY MOST AT FAULT?? i still think naruse, cuz he was the one who caused so many deaths!! and he had plenty of chances to stop, but he wouldn't! it's never too late to repent!! AND even though naoto suffered so much cuz of naruse, he couldn't bear to kill him in the end (well, cuz he felt quilty, too, but STILL!), YET in contrast, naruse has caused many deaths and it didn't bother him at all until the end...that PROVES THAT NAOTO IS A BETTER PERSON THAN NARUSE!

but part of me still feels sorry for him, it's worth it to cause all these deaths to get revenge for his brother and mom, who were everything to him...but it's ironic that hideo wanted to stop yamano from becoming a bad guy cuz of another bad guy, yet in the end hideo could not be stopped and also, his own brother became a REALLY bad guy in order to avenge him.

anyway, nothing in this drama is simply evil/good, black & white. there's a lot of moral issues, overlapping good/bad, a lot of philosophy and irony...2 guys who are not completely good guy, not completely bad guy. nothing is clear cut...BUT THAT'S PARTLY WHAT MAKES IT SO GOOD!! though definitely, naoto is the MORE GOOD of the 2, and naruse is the VERY EVIL but actually kinda good guy too....u've gotta be really evil to think up such an elaborate and vicious plan to get revenge!

--i loved all the scenes where naoto & naruse talk to each other after naoto knows he's behind everything... cuz naoto can finally hate naruse along with the audience who have known f/the start!! he's finally not in the dark anymore! but it's so frustrating how naoto can't stop him EVEN when he knows HE'S THE GUY!! it's so amazing how despite all the horrible things naruse did to him, naoto still feels bad and doesn't totally want to catch him...well, until the end, when he just can't stand it anymore! (AGAIN, ANOTHER REASON NAOTO IS A BETTER PERSON AT HEART, THAN NARUSE!)

each time he begged naruse to stop or especially when he said through tears that he's willing to DIE if it will finally stop naruse from hurting the ppl close to him!!! poor guy!!!! ='(
toma really is such a great actor, he always is so COMPLETELY IN CHARACTER and u just feel so sorry for naoto AND TOMA, cuz it's like they are BOTH TRULY HURTING AND REALLY VERY SAD IN THOSE SCENES!!!! ohno's crying scenes are awesome too, but of course u feel more sorry for naoto!!

--[11.16.08 EDIT]:
i really loved these 2 really great/sad moments...
when naoto gets the call from souda's cellphone and he actually hears naruse walk away!! that was such an intense/tragic moment, cuz naoto knows who it is that is calmly walking away from his dead friend!! =(
also, the part that naoto got the last red envelope while naruse was standing in front of him!!! i loved this sad/intense moment, they look at each other, knowing that this means the end is near...naoto looking as if saying "why??!!" and naruse looking so guilty/sad!! =[ a very unique & sad moment!!

--in the last few episodes, u really see, the actor that plays naoto's brother & his dad...they really R great actors, too!! ma, like i said before, they're all good, really, the supporting characters! but they don't get a chance to get more screen-time or a chance to stand out till the last couple episodes....

--shiori really tries so so hard to get naruse to turn back from his path to self-destruction, right?? she is so pretty when she cries too. =) still, it was good that they never really started dating, she would hurt even more if she lost him afterwards. and dramas like this...shouldn't focus on love stories. i thought it was unfair that naruse at least kinda had a girlfriend, but naoto didn't have anyone. i guess the policewoman that worked with him kinda liked him, but that barely counts!

----------it's great that they connect SMOKING with DEATH!! i am absolutely against smoking! of course, smoking regular cigarettes don't kill u as fast as poisoned cigarettes, but really. it's poison. and it WILL eventually kill you. so it's actually redundant, when u think about it, to say poisoned cigarettes. it's like saying poisoned poison! haha. x_X

-he didn't yell at naoto! i thought for sure, his dad would say it's all his fault that his brother died. but he was so sad and so supportive and everything!! it's a side of him naoto probably never saw before! *sigh!* which only makes his death later even more painful for naoto! i thought he would have a heart attack right in the hospital, but then of course, they can't have that, cuz then the doctors would probably be able to save him!! =[ and it's just more sad for naoto to find him dead when he doesn't expect him to be dying at all!!

------------ MY GOD!! naoto was so completely, painfully sad after his brother died!!! i just HURT for him when i see him crying so hard and he's in so much pain! =,(

--naoto's boss said since 15, he's shouldered his sins 4 the past 11 yrs. so that makes him
26 yrs old! i was just surprised to know naoto's the same age as me!

------i love shiori's last words to naruse. when she tries to stop him again be4 the 'tunnel'. can't u see the beautiful cloudy skies...voices in the bloom in spring, red leaves, after the rain there will be a rainbow... it sounds like a corny poem, but right at that moment, i was really touched by her words!! life really is beautiful ne! especially nature.

--so! in the end, almost all the selfish/ppl who've done something wrong DIE!!!!!! everyone dies!! i was kinda surprised, i thought at least kasai would survive!! i thought they'd at least spare him. but i guess everyone involved in that incident from 11 yrs back, they all have to die. =(

--naruse's letter to shiori was really touching. =( though i find it a little hard to believe that in all these years, no other girl has been able to win his heart!! anyway, i love how he said "i don't know why i'm having these dreams" of a happy life with her. =( BAKA, U MIGHT HAVE LIVED ON HAPPILY WITH HER IF U HAD ONLY STOPPED YOUR REVENGE PLAN EARLIER!! AND THEN NAOTO AND ALL THESE OTHER PPL WOULD NOT HAVE DIED!!! ARGGGH!! I HATE YOU!!! ....also, shiori runs pretty fast! but really, her outfits sometimes R just so unbelievably girly/childish!! =/

--naoto's sister-in-law's creepy/fake smile!! right when kasai died! it was weird!! though she always has a pretty fake smile, but this one really creeped me out right when i should be feeling sorry for kasai. lol. i'm sorry kasai. i was sad u died, too! just distracted by your girlf's smile.
ALSO, IT WAS COOL HOW THEY HAD SOME LIGHTNING & THUNDER RIGHT BEFORE KASAI DIED. it might have been coincidental seeing as how it was the rain season in japan, but still.

-------- FINAL FINAL scene: i was confused for a little bit. why did she "read" something right then? do they want to make a sequel?!! but then i remembered, shiori's the only main character that didn't know the TRUTH yet. that he didn't stab him, it was an accident. SHE'LL FINALLY KNOW HE DIDN'T STAB HIM!!!!! YESSSSS! and she can tell naoto's police friends! =) ah, finally his name can be cleared!!!! that was so wicked cool how they did it at the LAST LAST MOMENT OF THE DRAMA!! SWEET VINDICATION!!



i got so incredibly nervous and scared and felt so helpless along with shiori of what was coming!! the inevitable outcome for these two brothers. (each have caused the death of the other's brother! and parent) i knew even before i started watching that they would probably both die, since i heard that in Ma Wang, both guys die. even if i didn't know that, the TITLE of the episode and the preview of the episode COMPLETELY GAVE IT AWAY!!! ARGGGH!!! o__o
I REALLY WAS DESPERATELY HOPING THAT THEY WOULD CHANGE THE ENDING FOR THIS VERSION SO AT LEAST NAOTO WOULD LIVE!!!! i started talking to the screen!! "no, don't shoot him!!" "yes!!(after he dropped the gun) "NOOOOO, don't die naoto!!" etc. etc. ='( and i was shaking my head "no!!" a lot. i was shaking my head so much be4 and after: no no no no no no!!!!!!

but really, wasn't it just completely poetic justice that they died that way, in that place, where this all started? naoto accidentally killed hideo. now naruse accidentally kills naoto. with his own gun. and naoto died trying to save naruse!! POETIC JUSTICE AT ITS BEST AND MOST TRAGIC AND MOST IRONIC. naruse ultimately caused his own death (but that was his plan from the start, actually!!!), but also because he tried to save kasai. and though naoto kinda was the cause of everything, but yamano also was to blame. it was his knife after all!! and it seems like they're saying he's the only one of them all that actually is inherently evil, since he wanted to stab naoto since he was a kid and finally killed kasai?

i thought they should have NOT let kasai die though, cuz hideo died [and caused all the others to die] f/stopping yamano, yet in the end yamano still kills some1. so only yamano is inherently evil of all of them??? so u can't stop him? its inevitable that he does something evil?


i loved it when naoto said "your revenge will end unfinished!" and pulled out his gun! but when he was so conflicted, crying, really didn't want to shoot him!!! and especially when he was crying more, shaking his head that he can't kill him!! TOMA DESERVES SOME KINDA AWARD FOR HIS AMAZING PERFORMANCE IN THAT SCENE!!! and of course, ohno was so amazing too, but really, i was just so proud of toma's performance!!

toma gave a beautiful brilliant heart-breaking performance!!!!! especially in ep. 11!!! especially their last encounter!!!!!!!!!! my god, what a completely brilliant actor!

i hate naruse, but damn it, they really made me feel sorry for him despite all that he's done to naoto and how naoto's brother and dad died in the same day and naoto's lost all his family members!! i was so relieved when naoto figured out he WANTS to die and dropped his gun. but then after he got shot, i wish he had just shot naruse!!! DAMN IT!!! even though u can say that death is the only way naoto can truly be free from his endless guilt. but still, after all that happened, (even be4 that, when he was a police officer! he already has done a lot of good!) he has suffered enough. he has atoned enough! guilt WAS killing him, but not as fast as a bullet!!

....................oh man, i know this is getting way too long.
but i still have some more things i wanna say!!

--i started crying immediately after i knew it was naoto that got shot! and i cried several times afterwards, just thinking of all the sad things that happened to naruse or when listening to the Grace song. ='( and when i looked outside and the sky was so beautiful, so blue with big white clouds floating by!! just like shiori described to naruse! and also cuz all these deaths made me think of my friend who died a couple years ago, steven. in fact, he died the next day, so that got me even more sad. so u can guess---i also was tearing up the next day, but i was pretty much all cried out by then. my eyes and soul were just so TIRED those 2 days!! completely exhausted.

--but it's so brilliant/cruel of them,
making me smile at the same time i'm crying,
when naoto said u know, it would have been better if u just killed ME from the start!
and when ohno's leaning on toma at the end!!!! so sad! so cute!!!
so nice...they're like brothers now? i mean they both suffered so much but now all is forgiven. and he even put hideo's harmonica in his hand!! a sign of forgiveness...or maybe even that naoto is like a little brother to him??

i really loved what shiori said earlier, about living with all your strength. so i was really so happy that naoto said that at the end!!! he didn't know naruse was already dying!! *sigh!*

--i wanna hate naruse, but it's amazing how they made naoto see both his brother & father die, yet so quickly after that, u also feel so sad for naruse!! THEY. ARE. GOOD. damn!!! but u already know naruse will die halfway thru....its just a question of when/how. i was so so so happy naoto didn't shoot him, though i kinda knew he wouldn't be able to nor want to......BUT OF COURSE, AFTER NAOTO WAS SHOT!! why didn't naoto just shoot him and then live on??


I'VE SEEN PPL SHOT/STABBED IN MOVIES/DRAMAS AND SURVIVE. but sometimes they don't. it depends. hell, i've seen ppl FALL OFF CLIFFS in hk series and STILL SURVIVE! it just depends on what the director wants. lol.

but i wanted some answers, WOULD NAOTO OR HIDEO/NARUSE HAVE SURVIVED IF THEY GOT TO THE HOSPITAL IN TIME??? THE ANSWER IS...... IT DEPENDS. on exactly where u were shot, did it hit any vital organs, how strong the victim is, how much blood was lost. of course, too much blood loss always leads to DEATH!

here's what i found:
Effects of a stab wound to stomach?
If you get shot 4 times,will you die?
Once in the arm,twice in the stomach and once in the shoulder.


though it seemed like NAOTO DIED, maybe he was just unconscious???!!!! I HATE NARUSE!!!! naruse should have said "hey, by the way, i'm dying anyway, so u should try to live! 0__0 let me call the ambulance! baka!!!!!!!!! but there's a chance naoto would die in the hospital anyway...bullet wounds to the stomach seem to be really serious.

BUT in hideo's and especially naruse's case (since he was stabbed off to the side, probably not in his stomach?), seems like they MIGHT have been able to be saved IF they made it to the hospital in time! DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

--it was a brilliant brilliant ending, but the butterflies were kinda cheesy. but then, i NEEDED some kinda happy ending for them after all
i usually hate endings where ppl that died show up in the form of a butterfly/bird/whatever. but in this case i can accept it. cuz IM SO GLAD/RELIEVED THEY DIDN'T JUST END THE STORY WITH 2 OF THEM DEAD THERE!!!! I DESPERATELY NEEDED SOME HAPPY SCENE AFTER ALL THAT SADNESS OR ELSE I WOULD GO MAD. it's great that we get to go through the "dark tunnel" and see that on the other side are blue skies and a beautiful beach. =) and life goes on. and shiori and naoto's boss can be happy again...and naoto and naruse are happy, free butterflies (before they are reborn?) maybe we can even imagine naoto & naruse can meet their lost family & friends & even hideo be4 they're reborn....


what happened, happened.

can't change it.

it's over. it's done.
i've gotta accepted it.
i can move on!




*deep bow*
(or just skipped all that to read this message at the end!
haha. it's ok la, i know it's too long!)

and please, do live with all your strength
for all the people who care about you! =)

ja ne. *smile*