but really~ it's all worth it!! (being toma's fan)

i'm scared...

was just browsing some toma-related sites i bookmarked, and i found out yamapink might be (has already??) left the toma fandom!!! shocking!! cuz she's like 1 of the 1st ppl i remember seeing a lot at the forum and the LJ...a real die hard fan!!!

ano...this made me really worried that if a longtime fan like that (6 yrs?) could leave, what about me (almost 2 yrs)... o_o


but no time now,
so, i'll continue this tomorrow, ok~

kate

(ok, i'm back. tadaima!)

i especially think it's a shame that she is leaving at the peak of toma's career! not that it's all downhill f/here, but u know what i mean, it's the most popular toma's ever been, the most busy, the most shows and magazines he's been on!! I MEAN... THIS IS IT!! WHAT TOMA'S BEEN DREAMING OF HIS WHOLE LIFE, HE'S REALLY BECOMING A BIG STAR NOW...and he needs the support of his fans more than ever right now.

but i understand...it can be exhausting and overwhelming sometimes, to keep up with all of toma's stuff. watching his dramas (and screencapping!), watching his tv show appearances, listening to his radio guestings, reading his news/interviews, checking out his latest magazine pics/other pics, talking to other toma fans, reading tomagoto, and making/watching/reading fanmade things. that's just fans like me. never mind the fans that do things like scan his magazine pics, upload his video clips, share his news, translate his interviews/sub his dramas for us!!

all this can take up a lot of time and energy. it can be a major distraction or even takes over your life. but it's never been that bad for me. it depends on how big a fan u are and how busy toma is...for me, yappari, i am an EXTREME fan and sometimes i wish there was a 2nd kate to help me keep up with all this toma stuff. lol. BUT! i can cut back on toma stuff if necessary and i organize my time carefully, so that really helps. but i know some ppl just don't have time to be a fan anymore and end up leaving after a while. i totally understand. but for me, i think even if i was super busy, i would make time to be a fan and support toma and keep in touch with toma fans. cuz it is definitely impossible for me to live a life completely devoid of toma, it would be....just too hard to leave him completely like that. i can't. i won't!

but really~ it's all worth it!! i have no regrets. i'm proud of being a toma fan, and everything i've done for him. and for toma fans/myself...all the time and effort i put into this, i'm glad i did it. sometimes when fans leave, they say they're over this "obsession" or they're quitting this "addiction". but i beg to differ. there's more to being a fan than that. there's a lot of good things that come out of being a fan. u're part of this huge community who all support and love this person...it's like a huge family in a way. u can make new friends, create things (fanfic/fanart), share things with others. u can support each other at the same time u are supporting him and his work (and in a way, all the ppl involved making his work, such as his dramas, movies, music, etc...all the cast, the staff, too!). and u can also be so touched by his dramas/movies and learn from them too. i know i certainly learned a lot of useful info f/watching Voice~! and some of his dramas and characters are just simply unforgettable.

u can even learn life lessons from your idol, how they handle work or certain obstacles in their life. what they are doing to make a difference in the world...it's really cool to have someone to look up to and look after in this way. i really think i've become a more optimistic and happier person because of toma. he has, in a way, saved me! i was feeling really down when i found out about him. then suddenly, i had his dramas to look forward to, and his messages, and everything else. i could live vicariously through him, in a way. and when he's happy, i'm happy. and when he's successful, i'll feel proud of him and proud of myself for supporting him. and his optimism and the tough times he's been through...it really inspired me!! his career has been rough, yet he doesn't give up. i knew i had to try to keep trying, keep going, like toma. =) and really...it's just so FUN to be toma's fan, right? he's just the cutest, sweetest, funniest, most talented guy i've ever seen. (and his fans are so awesome, too!!^^) watching/listening/looking at him or reading his messages...he always makes me smile~

ellen degeneres has compared the relationship between her and her talk show's fans as being a marriage. maybe the first few months they'll watch everyday (that's the honeymoon), but soon they might get tired of her. and she might get tired of them too. lol. but that's why she says she needs them to stay committed, cuz both of them have to put time and effort into this marriage in order for it to work. as long as they put in the time to watch, she'll in turn try her best to entertain them. she said something like this. and it made me think...that really makes sense. both of you, your idol and you, can benefit from the relationship, as long as u make sure you are not too possessive or clingy (not putting too much time into it and thinking your idol belongs to only you). and as long as you're sure that u really like this person enough to continue putting time and energy into this relationship. and it's a lot like a marriage in toma's case, of course, cuz u love him, u support him, u get worried about him when he's working too hard, u're jealous of his female co-stars and his guy friends, when u don't see him, you'll miss him, and sometimes you'll be mad at him for whatever reason (not updating his blog?) but seeing him smile or make those silly faces always makes u remember why u love him so much!!♥

with this in mind...i am definitely committed to supporting toma! i will try my best to stay "married" to toma for my whole life!! haha. really, i don't ever want to break up with him. the only way he's getting rid of me is if he divorces me. lol. but why would he, i'm such a sweet and supportive wife!! xD seriously though...i hope toma-kun hasn't gotten married by the time i go on my trip to tokyo in 2014.

what was the point of this post... eh...i guess i'm just trying to prove to everyone (and to myself as well), again, why continuing to be toma's fan is the right choice!! i did waver and have my doubts for a little while after seeing yamapink's blog. if you're reading this, i'm sure you agree with me that what us fans do, does have meaning! but i somehow felt this need to defend myself and toma fans (and all fans in general, i guess) against the naysayers, the ppl who don't understand and look down on us. wouldn't it be cool if being a fangirl or otaku (fanboy/geek) was "cool" or "in" everywhere and not just in japan (not the otaku antisocial aspect of it so much, but i think u know what i mean!)! but getting back to the point: even when other fans leave toma for their own reasons, i am no longer afraid that i also might be like that someday, cuz i believe in toma, and i believe in our "marriage"!

for toma always,
kate

p.s. now look what i've done. i've spent too much time writing this. =T oh well, if it's only once in a while, writing a super long post is alright ne. arigatou gozaimashta, to YOU who read this whole thing. ^^